Battery Operated Televisions - i am married but feel so lonely!!?

i am married but feel so lonely!!?

Have been married three years but feel so lonely. Hubby just watches tv 24/7. If i suggest that we dont talk he just goes in a huff. TV is on first thing all day every day. As soon as he comes home from work, i give him his tea and he sits glued to the tv. All is see all night is his ear! Yesterday at work (i am community mental health nurse) i was very scared as patient was shouting and his raised his fist to me. Although i dealt with the matter i really needed to talk about it but when i commented to hubby that it was unbelievable that we had not seen each other and all he could do was stare at the tv. I acknowledge now that was the wrong approach as he just went in a huff and did not talk all night long. He says that he likes tv and he is not the only one who does this. I asked if we could maybe eat without tv being on but he just gets angry switches tv off and wont talk. He is nearly 50 so its not a maturity thing. Even sex is rotten now as it only when it suits him, late at night when tv has finished. Even if we go camping he takes a portable tv and sits in car watching it on cigarette lighter while i am in tent!!!! what do you think? Am i being too demanding? Basically i dont share anything with him anymore.

Public Comments

"Am i being too demanding?" Hardly
Sounds like you've grown apart. Is he embarrassed about a sex problem he can't talk to you about? He seems to be substituting TV for some form of comfort.
a dude 50 ain't gonna change his ways. why did you marry the dude? were you a mail order bride? do your time and leave.
He should have married the tv. Honey, you know this won't change. He is about as old of a dog as they come!
He might be depressed and that is his way of dealing with it. Either way, it's unfair for you that he refuses to do things with you without the t.v. Let him know how neglected you feel and tell him that if he has that much of a problem giving you quality time as his wife, then couple's counseling is going to be needed so you can work this out with a third party.
Well, if i was in that situation. the first point of call would be yahoo answers. on a serious note, 'accidentally' smash all the tv's in the house. Then he'd have to give you some attention!
No, your not being to demanding with him. Your just wanting to have a connection to your husband, which is what every marriage should be based on. I think you need to talk to him and tell him your at your wits end with this, and if things dont change then you will. Meaning, leave him and findfulfillment with a man that loves and adores YOU, and not the Tv
Your husband is addicted to TV to avoid having emotional intimacy. An intervention is in order. If he will not agree to counseling you should divorce now and waste no more of your life.
aww hunny no you are not too demanding. hes not giving you the time you deserve. i had a similar problem. my husband used to play a game called everquest on the computer from the minute he got home from work until 2am. I told him how it was bothering me that we never spent time together- it worked for about a week, then he was back at it. finally i threatened divorce. he appologized telling me it was like an addiction to him. sounds crazy huh? anyways, it sounds to me he has more interest in tv than you- dont back down on this one or let him think hes in control- flat out tell him that you are leaving him because he obviously doesnt care to give you the time of day. And then spend the night somewhere else. See how long it takes him to appologize if he does at all. If not, then hunny get out of that marriage because you only live once- and every second should be cherished. Every person deserves to be loved and respected- and if something bothers you it should bother them too
When he's at work, you should hide the TV. He sounds really boring and selfish, I'd feel lonely too.
we need to hang out--that's the story of my life!! we just started couples therapy and its going good so far!
Your hubby isn't being fair. and I would love the answer to how to handle that as well as my husband does the same and we only been married 4 months. Immaturity might be his problem tho as he is only 21 and a mommy's boy but I don't think us woman should have to take it. Try to sit him down, and give him an ultimatum, either he gives you attention or you going to stop doing what he wants. I told my man to do as I want or I'll go on a strike, he didn't fall for it at first but now I am in control again. good luck hey
why don't you try watching one of his favorite shows it might actually get him talking...or you can have an affair.
there is a book called "men are from mars women are from venues" that really helped my realationship with my husband. in this book it says that men need some "cave time" for themselves to think about all the problems at work because men naturally wont share the problems. But women will want to talk about their problems to feel good. so usually when men are watching TV its their cave time, and they will want to be left alone, and unknowingly they sound very cold when their wife try to talk to them. all you need to do is to give him enough time to get out of his cave and then start talking to him. and then he will respond much better. also i recommend that you both read the book i mentioned, it is really really helpful. good luck
1) woman you need to cut the tv off and hide the remote controls... and talk to him.. why did you marry him huh? let me guess, it was love at first sight huh? gr8 well good luck, talk to him, marriage is about communication etc... he cant read your mind...
No, you are not too demanding....You are right in feeling so lonely. Your husband is not "there" for you...His escape is the TV. I am sorry to hear about this. Anybody in this situation would feel sad and depressed.... What can you do about it? Since you cannot change him, try to see if you can make changes in your life, so you can be happier. If he is depressed, that is his problem. You deal with your life and do things you enjoy. Reconnect with old friends; see if you can see them for coffee or an occasional lunch. Do not continue to live like this. You are letting his depression affect you, and that is not fair ...or smart. See if you can do little things to cheer yourself up. Try a new hairdo or get a manicure; pamper yourself every once in a while. Toxic relationships are very sad and stressful ones. And even if you and your husband don't argue, the fact is you are living like roommates...not as a loving and close couple. Have you considered going to counseling together? Or would you prefer to separate and see how you do without him around? See if you can go to counseling or at least talk to other people. You need to feel you are a good woman, and that you are a worthy person. Good luck.
It sounds like you would be better off without him. Maybe you should find some groups you could spend time with in the evenings. Ask a girlfriend out for a coffee, find other people to talk to and maybe he will miss you. If this doesn't make any difference to your relationship start thinking of how to take care of yourself.
It's just not normal that he enjoys the company of his tv more than you. This relationship isn't healthy at all. I suspect that he is depressed. Everything on tv seems more interesting than his own life, that's why he's in tv land, and not in real life. I believe you have tried all you can to spend time with him, being that you went camping with him. I would suggest marriage counseling, and if nothing comes out of it, you might want to separate from him, for your own mental and psychological self.
Oh, I am so sorry that you are having this problem. I would say that he is having an affair with the TV. What if it was alcohol or drugs? For some reason you and he have become seriously disconnected. Your requests are perfectly normal, I don't think you're being fair to yourself though. You know how many women tend to blame themselves when things go wrong in relationships. It takes two to tango. He isn't holding up his end of the bargain (or that other thing either!). It could be that he's a become a bit lethargic about your relationship or maybe a bit of E.D. going on. Of course it would be unethical to slip him a little Viagra but maybe he would consider that? Or maybe he should see a Doctor. I wouldn't rule out a touch of depression going on. I wonder if you look for signs of depression would you see it? Or are you too close (emotionally) to recognize the signs?
this sounds awful!! i'd have lost all patience long ago. hey, i like the tv as much as the next person but i also realise the 3 D world can be more fun at times!!!
I went through something similar with my wife. Ever since we got cable, the TV's default mode was on. Even if she wasn't watching anything, she just liked having the TV on. And it really got bad if they showed a marathon of America's Next Top Model. What a waste of a Saturday! So I kept suggesting to her that she get some hobbies or something. So she would start an artsy project, make a mess, and not finish leaving the mess everywhere. I suggested she hang out with friends. So she would meet a girl friend at a bar, listen to her friend gripe about marriage problems, get drunk, and come home and pick a fight with me. Then I suggested she get a healthy hobby. So she started a workout routine with my best friend. That ended up causing her to become aggressive, so she would still go get drunk and come home and pick fights with me. But when we fought, she would actually throw punches instead of just yell. What I should have done from the beginning was just given up on the idea of my wife being responsible enough to pursue a healthy hobby on her own. I should have just given up on the fantasy of actually having free time to myself to have some peace and quiet. Some people simply are not mature enough or responsible enough to handle such freedom. I should have just done something with her in the first place... like a board game. We have fun when we do stuff together, but when left alone some people do nothing but get into trouble.
wow i know how you feel. Really I do... my hubby was like that and now well he is the same way but now he gets mad if I don't sit and watch what he wants to watch! before he would never want me around and now he is always mad cause i don't want to be! And it is always about him if i start to talk about my crazy day he does not listen but omg if i don't listen to him I am getting told a lot of crap! It is very lonely so trust me I know exactly how it feels! And sex well it is even worse I would just love to have some really hard core sex with someone besides him! I am not joking either! It might seem mean but dang some hard core sex, someone to really talk to after wards! that would make the happiest woman in the world just to have someone to share my day with my thoughts with! after wards!
Wow - it sounds like the two of you need to start communicating. I think you should suggest counseling with him. Even if he goes in a huff, at least he's going and maybe it will get better. Did you not have any inclination of this when you were dating? I find it hard to believe that he just changed to this behavior all of a sudden.
my friend why not get out and see how long it takes him to miss you! I know my old man is about the same way with the com per and he is 60. We been married 18 years and he works hard any need some time to just set and play cards on the here and if I got something to say to him I just go in the com per room and talk to him.so good luck
Try to go out for dinner where there is no TV. Do things that do not involve TV. Try going for a walk. Hiking. If you feel like your marriage is in danger of failing, you could suggest counseling. You don't have to watch TV with him. Start doing things like exercise, take a class, bible study (if you're Christian), or have people over. If you start to get a life without him, he may find that what you're doing is more interesting than what he's doing and he may join you. It sounds like he's in a rut and does not have many interests apart from TV. He needs to recognize this as a problem. You can't change his behavior. Only he can. You can change what you do though. You don't have to watch TV with him. Be careful though. Don't start talking to another man about your problems because you may end up having feelings for him.
Join the club dear it's called complacency!
Didn't you know that before you married him i doubt very much that it's something he just started doing. You do know the more your at him the more he will get angry at you. He is 50 and set in his ways and you're not going to change his mind. If you let him think he could be losing you he might get off the couch so just start going out without him. Tell him sense he prefers the TV over you your going out where people enjoy your company and enjoy talking to each other and you. Sarah is right he gets self satisfaction from the TV and he can't understand why you don't. Your marriage is in a lot of trouble if he doesn't turn off that TV and get off the couch. It's only been 3 years can you imagine what it's going to be like say 10 years from now. You are the one who will need to make a change because he isn't going to do it. Maybe if you leave him it will scare him enough to see what he has driven you to and want to do something about it. He needs a rude awakening.